college excursion. 5 long, insane, memorable days. murphy’s law was proved several times over – everything that could possibly go wrong went completely wrong – with a vengeance. about 51 students with 2 teachers set off on an adventure.

this was our proposed plan of action:

1. friday, august 31st – leave chennai central around 11.30, reach mangalore by 8 a.m., saturday morning
2. saturday, sept 1st – reach mangalore at 8. train to goa at 12 p.m., reach goa by 6 p.m. on saturday
3. chill in goa!
4. monday, sept 3rd – leave goa at 2 p.m. for londa, there catch train to bangalore. reach bangalore next morning.
5. tuesday, sept 4th – reach bangalore at 9 a.m. catch train to chennai at 2, reach by 8.30 p.m

so that was the plan. as it were, there wasn’t too much time we would actually spend in goa proper, but we figured that there was a lot that could be achieved, and that anyway, we would have a lot of fun. which was pretty much how it turned out, but rather differently.

so this is basically different things that happened during our trip.

1. the train from chennai to mangalore. our group is stalked by a groupof drunken, middle-aged men. they stagger through our compartment, eying us beadily and brushing against us in a disgusting way. never in my life have i ever come across something so sickening. the men start taking photos of our group from their berths. we complain to the police who warn them sternly. just as we are about to retire for the night, we realize that these drunken idiots have been watching us continuously in a fucking awful manner. we complain to the police again. chaos in the compartment – men protesting, policemen shouting, girls crying and screaming, passersby watching in surprise. men are controlled by the long arm of the law. well, not really, but chastised. we hope.
2. we reach mangalore by 9. set off to explore in the pouring rain and have a lovely time since it seems to resemble a lush green hill station. tear back to the station by 12 to catch our train to be told it’s delayed till 4. to kill time, we set off again on our exploration and wind up at mangalore coffee day.
3. race to catch window seats in the train when we get back to the station by 3.30. mangalore – goa supposed to be a wonderfully scenic route. hurl ourselves into the compartment to be greeted by the dispassionate voice of the announcer-lady – telling us the train has been further delayed till 6. we shall reach goa only early next morning. landslides on the track.
4. train finally leaves at 7. we look out at the scenic view, only it’s in pitch-darkness. at 9.30, our train halts in udipi. we’ve narrowly missed landslides just before our train on the tracks. our compartment stops outside a smelly toilet in the udipi station and remains there till 12 when the tracks are cleared. udipi is supposed to be a beautiful place. we can only suppose so.
5. reach goa by 9.30 in the morning. are escorted into a leaking bus to be taken to the resort which is 2 hours from the station.
6. reach the resort which i shall not name. are greeted by the sight of many rakish young men leaning out of windows and screaming as we pass by. we were told that the resort is less than 100 metres from the beach. it’s about 2 hours away. we curse futilely.
7. rooms are nice. bathe, change, burn our travel-soiled clothes and step out to explore rainy goa. we tell our travel guide, who has accompanied us from chennai, that we wish to go shopping. he takes us to a temple. baffled by his logic, we shop and purchase ice cream cones and other confectionery items. then we make a scene.
8. we are unable to leave the temple immediately since TG has smartly asked for the food to be dispatched from the resort to the temple, for reasons unknown. we hang around listlessly for a while in the leaking bus before pushing off finally for the bom jesus basilica, one of the most beautiful buildings i’ve ever been to. spend a wonderful hour there.
9. leave basilica in a hurry to be taken to dona paola beach. in the darkness, we look at the roaring sea crashing on a stretch of rocks. it’s beautiful and it’s raining. we take many photos.
10. leave “beach” to go on a cruise which we’ve been looking forward to. reach cruise-spot to be told that our boat will also carry 250 drunken revellers. the cruise plan is dropped. we are taken to the city instead and our teachers tell us we can do whatever we like from 9 to 10 at night while they wait in the bus.
11. we eat lovely ice cream at baskin robbins and turn a corner on the street to be greeted with the sight of over 25 of our classmates clamouring for liquor in front of a seedy wine-shop. again, we take many photos.
12. back at the resort. a friend and i are carefully placing a large bottle of smirnoff vodka into another friend’s backpack. having cautiously lowered it into the bag, we both promptly drop it and hear a nasty crack. expensive vodka dribbles all over the floor, the bag [with its contents] is drenched. we proceed to mop up the mess and wash the bag, cutting ourselves beautifully in the process. we take many photos.
13. go to a friend’s room where 15 of us are going to have “fun”. whiskey shots and breezers. i watch with surprise as friends get high in less than one shot. they proceed to dance with gay abandon. i am amused. later, when we leave to go back to the room, the damn wet stairs cause me to twist my ankle. it swells up twice its size in less than fifteen minutes. we take many photos.
14. next morning. we are taken in a whirlwind way to aguada fort where dil chahta hai was shot and calangute beach. superb fun. however we cannot linger for we must return to the resort by 11.30 to pack and push off for the station to catch our 2.30 train. we hurry back and reach the station by 2, demanding to know the platform number. the travel guide then realizes that the ticket says 3.45, not 2.30. we sit in the station for two hours and eat paneer butter masala.
15. board train to londa. TG says that only 7 tickets are unconfirmed, the rest are. TTE comes along and we find out that only 7 are confirmed, the rest are not. he is furious and collects all our ID cards. chaos reigns for 2 hours, during which we all plan our lives that, we assume, will be spent in londa jail. we are unable to discover whether londa is in karnataka or goa. more panic. i, the meantime, am unable to walk.
16. reach londa. board train for bangalore. realize that we have been given only 20 berths between 51 of us. it’s a mess. i am kindly given a seat. aiswarya and subadra, our hapless reps, battle it out with Indian Railways. a section of the class throws its weight around by refusing to share berths. there are tears and taunts. finally, wearily, we bed ourselves, two-in-a-berth.
17. reach bangalore the next morning [tuesday] at 9. i go off to a friend’s house to rest while the others hit commercial street. catch train at 2 to go home.

please note that this is the condensed version of our adventures. and to clarify one point: we returned and told our tale, and people gasped and said thank god they hadn’t come, it sounded like an awful bore, etc, etc. but it was the most fun i’ve ever had. we had hours to bond, we had experiences that we’ll possibly never have again, and we’d all crossed a point of hysteria where every single thing was funny. i love my class, and i loved the trip.

Title Source: Alive by Pearl Jam